I have always been an active woman. I grew up running, playing volleyball and cheerleading. I loved to dance. I never sat still. I was always on the go until early 2000 when I suddenly got very ill. The doctors were not sure what was going on and this began a long list of visit after visit to specialists. One said Fibromyalgia, another said Rheumatoid Arthritis, another said Lupus, another said its all in her head and eventually, in 2010 as I hobbled my way in on crutches to the Mayo Clinic, one said RRMS, Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. It made sense and I thought I finally was on my way to recovery after 10 long years of no answers and medications that never worked. I was wrong.
Being a military family, we PCS’d not long after my diagnosis. Once we moved the doctors wanted to start testing all over again. They just couldn’t accept the medical history I had handed them. I never received any treatment and got sicker and sicker and in 2012 I found myself in a wheelchair so weak that standing was almost out of the question. It was a miserable 6 months. Some family and friends were very supportive while others made jokes and told me to stop being crazy and get out of that chair. It was during this time that I started looking into alternative ways to deal with this diseases and I started denying it. I felt if I ignored it and acted as if it didn’t exist, then I would be fine.
I began acupuncture which helped immensely. I changed my diet to a mostly raw diet and it helped even more. I started meditating and spending more time with God and I got better and better and eventually was back to walking and out of the wheelchair but I was still in denial. Over the next four years I had days of weakness and other odd symptoms that I blew off. I even started going to a Rheumatologist because I just knew it was something other than MS and was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and started on Methotrexate. I’ve never been sicker. I couldn’t tolerate it and I stopped the treatment and fell head first into a cycle of denial and research on how to fix a broken body that ended up even more broken from all the confusion and defeat.
Fast forward to today, and I truly mean this morning, as I sit here writing this it has set in. I need to accept what is. I cannot change my lifestyle or my health or my spiritual walk if I do not look around and take a good account of what is and accept it. As a Christian I have always thought that if you accept it then you claim it so let’s don’t claim that!!! NO! If you do not claim it then it does not become your battle and sometimes, God wants us in those battles to grow us and heal us!! David would not have defeated Goliath if he had not accepted that this is his battle and he will win it. David accepted his battle and walked into it with confidence and determination that came from pure faith in God. No fear. Full acceptance. Complete defeat!
Today I am beginning this new journey of Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis and I will share what I learn along the way as I step back, accept what is and allow God to lead me to what will be. MS is my Goliath but my faith is strong like David and this will be defeated!!
David and Goliath
1 Samuel 17: 26- 50
David, who was talking to the men standing around him, asked, “What’s in it for the man who kills that Philistine and gets rid of this ugly blot on Israel’s honor? Who does he think he is, anyway, this uncircumcised Philistine, taunting the armies of God-Alive?”
27 They told him what everyone was saying about what the king would do for the man who killed the Philistine.
28 Eliab, his older brother, heard David fraternizing with the men and lost his temper: “What are you doing here! Why aren’t you minding your own business, tending that scrawny flock of sheep? I know what you’re up to. You’ve come down here to see the sights, hoping for a ringside seat at a bloody battle!”
29-30 “What is it with you?” replied David. “All I did was ask a question.” Ignoring his brother, he turned to someone else, asked the same question, and got the same answer as before.
31 The things David was saying were picked up and reported to Saul. Saul sent for him.
32 “Master,” said David, “don’t give up hope. I’m ready to go and fight this Philistine.”
33 Saul answered David, “You can’t go and fight this Philistine. You’re too young and inexperienced—and he’s been at this fighting business since before you were born.”
34-37 David said, “I’ve been a shepherd, tending sheep for my father. Whenever a lion or bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I’d go after it, knock it down, and rescue the lamb. If it turned on me, I’d grab it by the throat, wring its neck, and kill it. Lion or bear, it made no difference—I killed it. And I’ll do the same to this Philistine pig who is taunting the troops of God-Alive. God, who delivered me from the teeth of the lion and the claws of the bear, will deliver me from this Philistine.”
Saul said, “Go. And God help you!”
38-39 Then Saul outfitted David as a soldier in armor. He put his bronze helmet on his head and belted his sword on him over the armor. David tried to walk but he could hardly budge.
David told Saul, “I can’t even move with all this stuff on me. I’m not used to this.” And he took it all off.
40 Then David took his shepherd’s staff, selected five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in the pocket of his shepherd’s pack, and with his sling in his hand approached Goliath.
41-42 As the Philistine paced back and forth, his shield bearer in front of him, he noticed David. He took one look down on him and sneered—a mere youngster, apple-cheeked and peach-fuzzed.
43 The Philistine ridiculed David. “Am I a dog that you come after me with a stick?” And he cursed him by his gods.
44 “Come on,” said the Philistine. “I’ll make roadkill of you for the buzzards. I’ll turn you into a tasty morsel for the field mice.”
45-47 David answered, “You come at me with sword and spear and battle-ax. I come at you in the name of God-of-the-Angel-Armies, the God of Israel’s troops, whom you curse and mock. This very day God is handing you over to me. I’m about to kill you, cut off your head, and serve up your body and the bodies of your Philistine buddies to the crows and coyotes. The whole earth will know that there’s an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will learn that Goddoesn’t save by means of sword or spear. The battle belongs to God—he’s handing you to us on a platter!”
48-49 That roused the Philistine, and he started toward David. David took off from the front line, running toward the Philistine. David reached into his pocket for a stone, slung it, and hit the Philistine hard in the forehead, embedding the stone deeply. The Philistine crashed, facedown in the dirt.
50 That’s how David beat the Philistine—with a sling and a stone. He hit him and killed him. No sword for David!