In my soul of souls I am a dreamer. I have seen some come to fruition and others I still pursue. I believe our dreams are put in our souls by the One who can help us make them a reality. I have seen it happen many times in my own life. Dreams come true that otherwise would not have if not by the hands of God Himself. I love that I have dreams. I love that I can vividly visualize them as I seek to bring each small aspect together to reveal the bigger picture: the actualization of the dream!
I was a very active person before I got sick. I danced. I ran. I played volleyball. In high school I cheered. I loved movement, any kind of movement. I felt at home in a body hat moved. Maybe that is why, for several years now, I have not felt comfortable in my own skin; because the body that once moved has not in a very long time. Even though it longs to move and feel free it fights itself and and it tires easily now. It is no longer 27 but rather it is 47. It has deconditioned in the past 10 years of fighting MS and RA and whatever else has tried to invade it. Sometimes, it feels hopeless and I lose my drive to achieve my dreams. I question whether or not I will even be able to achieve them and I try to give up. I often try very hard to give up….but my soul will not let me.
I have a dream and I want to achieve it. Nothing can take that desire from me.
Keep on dreaming. Keep on going. Keep on striving. Do not give up. Life is not over yet. There is still so much more to achieve and many more moments to live. Today I am choosing to keep on dreaming and in that I will keep on trying. I will keep changing my eating habits to achieve my dream. I will keep on exercising as best my body will allow. I will keep learning and gaining wisdom. I will continue to put my trust in the One who put the dream in my heart because He is in the business of achievement. He redeems. He blesses. He heals. He opens doors. I just need to trust and patiently wait in the liminal spaces.
A funny thing about liminal space, the waiting spaces of life, is that they can often feel empty. I have never been comfortable with empty space. It never made sense to me. I just had to fill it with things. Things I thought brought joy and peace. Things that I thought had worth. Before I knew it, the space was so full I had no space to move. I felt smothered.
Empty space now makes perfect sense. The places of waiting make sense. I need both in order to move! Movement breathes life into my body and liminal space breathes life into my soul. Now I have to make the choice to be free in the space I am in. To free myself of clutter: emotionally, physically and spiritually. I need to de-clutter to move about freely and realize my dreams!!! I need to have that empty space where I can meet with Jesus, one on one, without distraction. A space where I can hear Him speak and allow Him to show me how to follow the dreams He has given me.