This morning I have been sitting here reflecting on yesterday where I attended an amazing event that seeks to pair children seeking their forever home and waiting families. It was amazing to see all the wonderful kiddos enjoying themselves, the many volunteers with hearts overflowing with love for them and above all the connections being made between families and waiting kiddos.
It was 3 short hours but 3 hours can change a life. It can create family. It can give a child a sense of belonging, of peace and joy. It can provide a future for a child. It can keep siblings together. It can give hope. I saw this for myself in so many children’s faces, but the teens, that is where the hope seems to get lost, even in the middle of an event that was created to give them a chance at family and an opportunity to connect. My heart ached heavily for them. One young man had a t-shirt that simply said “I’m looking for my forever family, is it you?” Not yet a teen, but no longer a small child, he had made a way to try and connect with someone who will love him unconditionally.
I had prayed several days prior and meditated on God’s word and direction for me at this event. We have been in the process of preparing to adopt from foster care for the second time and for the past 8 months we have been focused on younger children and special needs children. Three days prior to the event God changed my heart in MAJOR ways. Not only did teens become our focus, but teen boys! Like most, I was afraid of adopting a teen, especially a teen boy. We have heard all the stories of how difficult teens can be and we lived through a particularly tough adoption of a tween boy many years ago. To say I was afraid may have been an understatement but then God said “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. In an instant my heart softened and the fear was gone. I was able to embrace where my husband and I are being led because I know wherever I go HE GOES and He is asking us to give a teen boy a loving home.
So I prayed. I prayed over the the 3 days prior. I asked the Lord to place teens in my path that I could speak to and show them His light. I ended up driving two teen boys to the event. At the event I spoke to several more and my heart broke when their tough exteriors said things like ” I’ve been in foster care for 8 years and I’m cool with it.” or “My sister got adopted fast but I’ve been waiting 6 years” or ” I’ve been in foster care 10 years but I don’t even care. It’s no big deal.” These boys need and want love and so many people just pass them by. In my heart of hearts I wish I could change that for them, but all I can do is pray and advocate for them the best I can.
If you have a heart for adoption, please consider teen boys. Yes they are tough on the outside. Yes they come with issues, but so do the younger kiddos. Yes they might seem a little scary, but if God calls you to it He will not leave you to try to thrive on your own. He will stand with you. He will close gaps. He will soften hearts. He will overcome traumas and shame and guilt. He WILL redeem the life of teen boy through you.
But He can’t if you never step up to the door and open it for these sweet boys.
I feel blessed today. The time I spent with these boys is something I will never forget. It was beautiful. We had great conversation. They shared a little about themselves, but not much, except one young man. He opened up on a deeper level. He spent the entire event talking with me. He shared about himself and he took a chance on family. I know that was the hardest thing he has ever done. I know that he was unsure and scared of rejection. He shared the many rejections he has had in his young life. He put fear aside and decided it was worth a try, once again. He chose to open a door and we are choosing to walk through it. We are going to give this young man a chance at family if his adoption worker feels we are a fit for him. I’m not even scared because I know this young man was put in my life by the One who created us both and He has this in His mighty hands.
Project Zero in Arkansas has a goal : 1 + 1 = 0 One child + one family = zero children waiting. Be willing to take a chance on these sweet boys. Be willing and open to love them and welcome them. We are hoping that we will be one of the families that gets to say “One Less”. One less waiting teen. One less waiting boy. One less child waiting for a forever home.
Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows, is God in his holy habitation.” God never turns away from children living as orphans and neither should we. Children and teens need not be living in an orphanage to be an an orphan. Every waiting child in foster care is an orphan.
James 1:27 says, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” God says to actively pursue meeting the needs of children and teens living as orphans. Their needs are many: a family to love them, food to eat, clothing to wear, medical and psychological care. You can step into an active role in their lives in many different ways even if you are not called to adopt them.
Deuteronomy 14:29 says, “And the Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance with you, and the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your towns, shall come and eat and be filled, that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.” If you are not called to adopt, then give. Give to meet their needs. Give your time. Give financially. Give.
Ask yourself today if you are one of those families. Pray and ask the Lord to show you where you fit into this goal and then reach out to them and let God take the lead. Contemplate His word and know that whether you are called to adopt or not, you are still called to do something for these wonderful children.