Praying For Answers | Meditating His Word

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I have been overly stressed about our adoption lately. It might be because we are at the end of the process and are about to open. Maybe it is my impatience getting to me at the end of a long process. I’ve been through this process twice in 2 years: once in MS and now here in AR. It is taxing and so very difficult. Especially when you get where I am now. We have inquired about several kiddos. We are open to whomever God puts in our home but in my chaos I have struggled in my prayer and began depending on myself and came close to sidelining ( at least I hope it isn’t) a placement that we have been praying on for 7 months now. Such a lesson in staying close to Jesus, especially in times of great transition like we are going through. This morning I panicked and thought “How will we choose? what if we are chosen for more than one child?” I prayed. I spent quiet time with the Lord and this afternoon He answered.

He gave me a gentle reminder that the best thing I can do is follow the example of Jesus when He made decisions. Before selecting his 12 disciples Jesus “went out to the mountain to pray and all night He continued in prayer with God.” ( Luke 6:12 )  I may not be selecting disciples but I am making a lifelong decision that will change the life of a child and my entire family. It is important that who we choose is in line with God’s will for our family. I want the child that enters our home to be chosen by God so I want to be led in this decision. Jesus knew that He had to step away from the chaos and find a quiet place where He could hear God, where He could come to Him in prayer and petition His guidance.

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I need to do the same.

I cannot make right choices in the middle of loud chaos that keeps circling me like a tornado waiting to tear everything apart in just a few seconds so this evening I will retreat. I don’t have a mountain to go to but I do have a nice quiet bedroom that is separate from the rest of the house. Just as Jesus did, I will retreat and I will pray. I will pray all night. I will pray until I hear God tell me to take a break. I will pray. I will listen. I want more than anything for this to be God’s choice because His choices are always good. I know when the choice was His that there will be strength, redemption and love in all that comes in our future together.

No matter what decision you are facing, learn a lesson from Jesus and retreat to hear God guide your way. His way is never wrong. It may be tough, but it is what He has called you to do. It will have good moments and challenging moments, but all moments will be blessed with His presence.

And in it all…..God is so very good.

 

Making Tough Life Decisions

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God is in every detail of our lives. Every. Detail. He is even in the decisions that we make both big and small. Right now, my husband and I are facing a life changing decision. One that will literally change the dynamic of our lives. There are many pros and cons to the decision. We have been over them all in our heads. I have discussed my concerns and fears with my husband. I have waivered on my decision to says yes or no and he has graciously listened to me as I do. This was not in my life plan and if I am being honest, it scares me quite a bit. Fear has been infiltrating my soul for several months now and today it came full circle and landed me flat on my face at the feet of Jesus begging Him to show me the right decision.  This is what He gave me:

 

  1. The decision is for my husband and I to make. I cannot rely on what others think. Over the past few days I have been studying for a yin yoga training with a great organization called YogaFaith and in the readings I came across something that resonated deeply with our upcoming decision. Simply put she stated that we cannot put weight into the thoughts or judgement of others. She was speaking of following your calling in Christ, which is what my husband and I feel this is. So first of all, our decision must be made together with no emphasis on anything other than what God tells us to do.
  2. God sets the course of my journey, not me. I have been thinking all along that I have a choice. While I do have free-will, God has set my journey before me long before I came to this crossroad. Whether or not I stay straight on the path or take a hard left or right is up to me, but when I choose to move forward and stay within His design for my life I am trusting that His course is the best course. Just as the Israelites faced a swift change of course in Exodus, we are about to find that our lives are taking a change of course that is God led and therefore will only bring about His glory.
  3. Fear is a byproduct of pride. I have never thought of fear being a byproduct of pride but it makes sense now. When I fear I am assuming the role of conductor. I actually think I have control of my life, that I have things under control and that those many nights of sleepless planning are going to make a difference and the outcome will be exactly what I have determined it to be. That is pride. That is not understanding that God is the one in control and in ALL circumstances I am to come to Him(Phil 4:6) rather than to lose one more night of sleep to plan for tomorrow (Matt 6:34).
  4. When I am in the hard places, the places I am called, I am to be at peace. The choice we are making will bring a lot of hard work. It will be tiring. There will be times that sleep is lost and hearts will hurt. It is not an easy path. Care of another with severe disability takes its toll on all involved, yet God is a God of blessing and favor. He is a God that provides. He provides strength, courage and agape love. He will fight for us in every detail of care and need. All I am called to do is love (1 Cor 13:13) and be at peace ( Ex 14:14)
  5. Any decision made based upon God’s divine guidance will prosper. Doubt is not of the Lord and neither is fear. I believe God when He says He only has plans to prosper (Jer 29:11) us. Knowing this makes our choice an easy one, even if the future looks daunting, the truth is God has “plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” There is nothing I can take on in God’s name that will not prosper and be fulfilling.
  6. Silence truly is golden. Don’t get me wrong. I am not thinking this choice will be easy. I am not under a deceitful impression that once we make this decision that everything will be rosy and sweet. That there will be no bumps in the road or mountains to climb. I have learned that when those bumps come, when the tornadoes and hurricanes pounce on our home, that we are to be silent and let God be God. He will fight for us in these times. When there is a surgery needed, He will make the way and it will be successful. When there is a medical need, He will bring the right doctors and while we wait in the aggravating circumstances…we need to be silent and not complain.
  7. A little mustard seed is a mountain mover. Above all, a little faith goes a long way. (Matt 17:20). When God says move, mountains move. When healing is needed, God heals. (Psalm 147:3, Jer 17:14, Jer 30:17, Luke 5:17, Mark 5:34) It does not matter what doctors say. It does matter what therapists say. The great physician is the one who determines the future of each on of us and when He says rise up and walk….we walk. (John 5:8).

In making our decision it must be based on God’s promises and His word. God says not to fear. ( Isaiah 41:10)  God says not to worry. (Phil 4:6-7) God says to trust Him. (Prov 3:5)  God says not to complain. (Ex 14:14) God says faith can move mountains. (Matt 17:20) God says to be at peace with circumstances. (2 Thess 3:16) God says He has already gone before me and prepared the way. (Deut 31:8)  God says I can heal her. (Luke 8:48) God says don’t be prideful. (Prov 16:18) ] God says go into this with a joyful heart.(Prov 17:22)

God is always right.

So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. Galatians 3:9

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

It looks as if we have our answer!